By: Christina Nguyen
If your relationship with your employees is in the right place and you possess the right amount of relevant experience, you might be appreciated as a mentor to one or more. A mentor/mentee relationship can help build a stronger bond with your employees and pass on vital information they can use to help your business grow together.
Such a relationship often requires opening up and showing vulnerability, which can create an opportunity for sensitive topics to arise. Your relationship should be a safe and considerate space that fosters growth and empowerment. This isn’t always easy, so here’s some tips to keep in mind for building a healthy, thriving, constructive relationship with your mentee.
Understand what they’re looking for.
Your mentorship isn’t one-size-fits-all. What your mentee is looking for may not fit the mold of what you’re used to. Even if it sounds similar, there could be layers that add some nuance you may not have worked with before.
Figure out the right questions to ask them while keeping your relationship professional. Be sensitive to how much personal information they’re willing to divulge. Be an active listener and ask plenty of questions, but don’t come off as interrogating.
Of course, turn it back to them and have them ask you questions!
Check your biases.
A crucial part of truly understanding your mentee is to see them through an unfiltered, unbiased lens. No matter how many mentees you’ve had in a similar situation or from a similar demographic, again, don’t make any assumptions. See if you can catch yourself involuntarily, impulsively slipping into an assumption they’ll be aiming for a certain goal just because of their job title, personality, or background.
Succumbing to biases can harm their trust and confidence in you. Even if it shows through a subtle and unintentional error, it can easily damage your relationship.
Set your boundaries and don’t overstep them.
Since this kind of relationship can open up sensitive topics, tread carefully, especially if you work together! No matter how far-fetched or macabre your mentee’s admitted interests turn out to be, keep harsh judgements to yourself – unless they’ve clearly established that they’d prefer you do that. Bite back any comments that could be viewed as inappropriate for your working dynamic.
Even if they’re asking for plenty of feedback, discern what kind of feedback is welcome and what isn’t. Make sure any criticisms are as constructive as possible.
Help them open doors.
You might have some connections that could also lend your mentee a hand up. Ask them who they’re looking to meet and bring your own suggestions to the table. You never know who they’ll spark with.
You can either give your mentee your connection’s contact and have them reach out on their own, facilitate an e-introduction, or even set up a meeting with all of you together to help break the ice. Before doing any of this, you can offer to give your mentee your connection’s name and profile so your mentee can provide their own judgement.
Don’t treat them like an extension of yourself.
Unless that’s what they’re requesting, your mentee probably doesn’t want to completely hand over the reins to you to mold them into a sculpture where you’re the main artist. Mentorship often means you’re helping them with their own artistry. Don’t just teach them what to think, teach them how to think.
Improve your emotional intelligence.
You’ll have a much easier time following all the above if your emotional intelligence is high and sharp. Honing your emotional intelligence will help you sense your mentee’s feelings and thoughts through not only their words, but also their tone and nonverbal cues.
It also opens up your eyes to how you’re emotionally responding to them yourself. Reining in any inappropriate or biased emotions requires being able to identify them before they reach the tongue, and doing so needs that sensitivity. It’ll help you be prepared to gracefully apologize and be forthcoming when you make any mistakes, such as speaking out of turn.
Here’s a detailed HubSpot article on how you can improve your emotional intelligence to better be a kind and sensitive mentor.
Have you been a mentor or had a mentor? What are your do’s and don’ts for a successful mentorship?
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About Stingray Advisory Group LLC: Stingray Advisory Group LLC is based in Grand Rapids, Michigan and is a proud member of Local First and the West Michigan Hispanic Chamber of Commerce. We help small businesses grow by providing guidance in financial planning, website development, marketing, and more.
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